Situationships 101: How to Tell If You’re In One
You’re texting all day, hanging out on weekends, maybe even sleeping over… but if someone asked what you are, you’d freeze. Not because you don’t like them — but because you honestly don’t know the answer.
Welcome to the world of the situationship.
It’s that gray area between casual dating and a relationship. It’s fun… until it’s not. At first, it feels so exciting, all flirty energy, no heavy conversations. But after a while, the uncertainty starts to feel less like freedom and more like confusion.
So how do you know if you’re in one? Let’s break it down.
1. You’ve Never Defined the Relationship
The national anthem of the situationship is: “We’re just seeing where it goes.”
If you’ve been “seeing each other” for months and there’s still no clarity on what you are, that’s a sign.
Casual dating can move forward into something more — a situationship just… stalls. It’s like circling the block over and over without ever finding a parking spot.
2. It’s Consistent… But Only to a Point
They text, they call, they hang out — but it’s never in a way that deepens the connection.
Dates are more like hangouts. Weekend plans? Sure. Meeting their friends or family? Absolutely not.
It’s giving “I like you enough to spend time with you” but not “I want to integrate you into my life.”
3. The Effort is Just Enough to Keep You Around
Situationships thrive on “breadcrumbing” — giving you just enough attention so you won’t walk away, but never enough to truly commit.
They’ll call you “babe” but never ask you to be their girlfriend/boyfriend. They’ll make you feel special one week, then disappear the next. It’s inconsistent — but the highs are just high enough to keep you hooked.
4. The Future is Always Vague
Bring up “What are we?” and suddenly they’re changing the subject or making a joke.
Future plans are next weekend, not next year. They’ll talk about wanting to go on vacation “someday” but never actually book the flights. You start to feel like you can’t even bring up commitment without “ruining the vibe.”
5. You Feel the Uncertainty More Than the Fun
In the beginning, the situationship feels electric — the freedom, the excitement, the not-knowing. But eventually, the lack of clarity stops feeling cute and starts feeling heavy.
If you catch yourself feeling more anxious than happy, more confused than secure, it’s a sign the situationship is running its course.
The Takeaway:
In your mid-twenties, you don’t have time to waste. Go for what you want and communicate it clearly. If they’re not giving you that, it’s your cue to look in another direction.
If these signs feel familiar, you’ve got two choices:
Ask for clarity and see where they stand.
Walk away and make space for someone who’s sure about you.
Either way, you win — because nothing is more attractive than knowing what you want and not being afraid to ask for it. 🥂
