5 Reasons Why First Dates Should ALWAYS Be Over Drinks… (Even an Iced Coffee)
Dinner on a first date? Risky. Movies? Even worse. But coffee at 2 p.m. or wine at 7? That’s where the magic is.
Hear me out: the best first dates happen over drinks. Not because you need alcohol (A mocktail or a Diet Coke are just as effective), but rather because there’s something about sitting across from someone with a drink in hand that makes conversation flow easier, chemistry easier to spot, and bad dates easier to escape.
Here’s 5 reasons why:
Low Commitment, Low Pressure
Here’s the thing — drinks are short. If there’s no spark, you can politely finish your latte, thank them for meeting you, and be on your way in 30 minutes. Dinner? You’re stuck for at least an hour and have to wait until the bill comes, silently praying your food arrives faster so you can make a quick exit.
Case in point: my best friend once went on a dinner date with a guy that she knew 15 minutes in, it wasn’t going anywhere. They ordered a margarita pitcher — romantic in theory, right? Except he poured himself a glass and didn’t pour her one. It might seem like a simple gesture, but in my eyes it's a big one! So, my friend poured her own glass and sat there watching him sip away until the food came, trying to make conversation while mentally planning her escape. When the bill finally arrived, he suggested they split it. That was her first and last date with him.
2. The Atmosphere is More Relaxed
First dates can feel like interviews, and no one wants to feel like they’re applying for the role of “girlfriend.” Drinks break that tension. Coffee shops feel cozy and casual, cocktail bars feel a little more exciting, and wine bars give you that instant “we’re sophisticated but fun” energy.
The setting matters. Lighting matters. Music matters. Even the way the drinks are served can set the tone.
For example, Brewology is always one of my go to spots whether it's for a date, or to catch up with my best friend. The vibe is unmatched: cozy lighting, great music, amazing coffee and espresso martinis that don't miss. It's the kind of place where, even if the person across from you isn't “the one”, you’re still guaranteed a good time.
3. You Can See Chemistry Fast
There's just something about sitting across from someone with a drink in hand that invites a little flirtation. With drinks, you’re focused on each other — no menu stress, no awkward bites mid-sentence. You’re watching body language, making eye contact and figuring out if the conversation flows naturally. Drinks create the little moments where chemistry can flow naturally without the pressure of a big, formal date.
You can tell a lot in 45 minutes over a cappuccino or a glass of wine. Is there laughing? Are there follow-up questions? Does he seem present? Is he glued to his phone? And yes… does he make sure your drink is filled before his own? Those little actions matter.
4. The Built-In Exit (or Extension) Plan
One drink gives you an easy out. If you’re not feeling it, you can wrap up naturally: “This was fun, I have an early morning tomorrow.” Done. No awkward looking around, waiting for the check.
If you are feeling it? That’s when it can get exciting — “Want to grab another round?” becomes “Want to check out that place down the street?” and suddenly you’ve turned a 30-minute coffee date into a three-hour adventure.
And let’s be real… the drink date also lets you see how they handle the bill. My personal rule? If he doesn’t pick up the tab on the first date, there’s no second date. It’s not about the money — it’s about the gesture. Call me old school, but the first date is about showing genuine effort. If he’s not willing to invest in the smallest way, he’s probably not going to invest in bigger things down the road.
5. It Shows Their Social Side
Maybe it's just the waitress in me, but how someone treats the bartender, handles a busy Friday night crowd, and how they tip says a lot.
A drink date gives you a front row seat to your dates manners, patience and how comfortable they are in a social setting. If they're rude to the staff, or glued to their phone, BIG red flag. If they're friendly and engaged, it's a green light!
The In Between Sips Takeaway
The best first dates aren’t always the fanciest — they’re the ones where you feel comfortable enough to be yourself, laugh a little louder, and lose track of time between sips. No matter what your choice of drink is, drinks set the perfect stage for connection.
So skip the awkward dinner commitment and opt for something simple. The right person will make it feel anything but simple. And if they pick up the tab? Even better. 🥂
